


over and over (I keep wondering why)

by isloremipsumafterall



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: F/F, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:28:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22527085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isloremipsumafterall/pseuds/isloremipsumafterall
Summary: Except she’d wake up.And Jadzia would not remember.Nerys pulled back.orKira is stuck in a time loop with no explanation or reason and Jadzia is always there.
Relationships: Jadzia Dax/Kira Nerys
Comments: 6
Kudos: 68





	over and over (I keep wondering why)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [girlonthelasttrain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlonthelasttrain/gifts).



> did I wait to post a time loop on groundhog day? absolutely.

“I have to admit I didn’t expect to see you here.”

Nerys didn’t reply, staring deep into the Romulan ale in the glass in front of her.

“Kira?” Jadzia continued, her voice laced with worry. When she didn’t respond again Jadzia placed a hand on her shoulder. “Nerys?”

Nerys’ breath hitched in her throat at her first name, her gaze flickered over to Jadzia and she offered her a brittle smile. “Dax.”

“What’s wrong?” Jadzia asked, taking the seat next to hers and leaning into Nerys space as though she could spot what was wrong just from looking hard.

It was exactly what she’d done last time too.

And about four times before that.

Nerys leaned back, sighing deeply. “I think the prophets are trying to tell me something.” It was the only thing she could really think of.

It wasn’t a holodeck program and it wasn’t an accident from Jake and Nog messing with something on the station and O’Brien had confirmed that there weren’t any strange particles around her or on any part of the system and-

“What have the prophets done now?” Jadzia hadn’t pulled back in the least, the dim light of Quark’s made her spots almost blend all together with the shadows and Nerys didn’t bother to resist the urge to lift her hand and trace her Trill spots, her fingertips just barely pressing down.

“Nerys?” Jadzia was frowning. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I don’t know.” Nerys confessed. “I’ve just been doing this so much…”

The day started the same every time. She woke up, nothing appearing wrong around her; no security risks reported by Odo. No ships coming through the wormhole. Just a regular day.

Over and over.

She looked up, meeting Jadzia’s eyes. “Thank you.” She began, “For being there every time.”

Jadzia’s lips quirked upwards, “Benjamin once told me of an earth song-”

Nerys rolled her eyes. “‘Its going to take me a lot to drag me away from you.’ I’ve heard.” She said drily.

Jadzia pouted. “Have I used that one already? I didn’t think I had…”

Nerys pulled her hand away, laughing. “Don’t worry about it, Dax.”

“All these drinks and I’m still just Dax?” Jadzia teased, the pout still on her lips.

Nerys couldn’t help the smile that was pulled out of her. “Maybe you need to buy me another drink.”

Jadzia’s eyes lit up. “Would that work?”

“Couldn’t hurt.” Nerys said and she hadn’t gotten this conversation last time. Maybe next time it would change again but she had no doubt that if she walked out Jadzia would follow to find her. The warmth in her stomach had nothing to do with the alcohol and she chased the feeling, leaning just a little into Jadzia’s space.

“Maybe that’s what the prophets are trying to tell you.” Jadzia said suddenly.

Nerys perked up a little at that. “What?”

“To relax, have some more fun.”

Nerys snorted in bemusement. “I thought that’s what you were trying to teach me.”

“Maybe I needed the help.” Jadzia said easily and shrugged. She nudged Nerys with an elbow lightly. “We could always ask them.”

“I tried.” Nerys groaned. She’d flown to the orb of time on Bajor. She’d gone into the wormhole. She’d stayed in her room all day and just prayed and begged.

“Couldn’t hurt to try again.” Jadzia rested a hand on her shoulder. “And if you need the help I’m here.”

Nerys reached up to capture Jadzia’s hand and squeeze it, keeping her hand on top of Jadzia’s where it rested. “Thank you…Jadzia.”

“Knew you could do it.” Jadzia didn’t bother to hide her wide grin.

It would be so easy then, to lean over, to kiss Jadzia. To wipe the grin off her face and present her with a new focus. To just give in to something she’d been so unsure of for the past few years since Jadzia stepped onto the station.

Except she’d wake up.

And Jadzia would not remember.

Nerys pulled back.

* * *

Bajor looked beautiful from the view of the station.

Nerys stared down at it; barely blinking.

“Well you look deep in thought.” Jadzia’s voice rumbled next to her ear, making her jump and then shiver.

She looked back and then up, a little annoyed at Jadzia’s height and like Jadzia knew what she was thinking she straightened up to stand even taller.

“I was thinking I don’t go back often enough.”

She’d been there at least fifteen times since this began to her.

“You could always request some leave.”

“I could.” Nerys relented, going along with it.

“Think you could use the company?” Jadzia asked, a sly grin on her face.

Nerys huffed in amusement. “How about now?”

“Now?” Jadzia’s smile fell. “Kira what’s going on?”

She hated that question.

“Maybe later.” Nerys sighed.

If it ever came.

* * *

The candle didn’t shatter against the wall in any way that felt satisfying. Just a dull thud as it fell to some pieces and to the ground.

“What do you want?!” Nerys asked the ceiling without answer.

“Nerys!” Jadzia called out, striding into the room, concern written all over her face. When she reached Nerys she put her hand out, resting it on top of Nerys’ bicep.

Nerys tried to keep the tears of frustration and anger back.

“What do they want?” She asked again, the emotions draining her.

Jadzia pulled her closer, slipping her arms around Nerys and resting her chin atop Nerys’ head as she hugged her tightly.

Only twenty minutes later Nerys woke up to that morning yet again, alone.

* * *

“I have to admit I didn’t expect to see you here.”

Nerys didn’t answer.

* * *

“Major!” Benjamin’s voice shook her and made her almost turn the shuttle right around as he continued. “What is going on?”

“Sorry, Captain.” Nerys said, genuinely apologetic. “I have to try something again.”

“Nerys wai-”

She shut off the communicator at Jadzia’s voice.

She’d take her chances and hear Jadzia again if she had any luck on her side.

* * *

“Tell me about Trill.” Nerys asked, on what must have been the fiftieth loop. Or perhaps it was already one hundred. She was starting to lost count.

“Anything specific?” Jadzia raised an eyebrow as she sipped her raktajino that morning, setting the padd she was reading down.

“Anything you want.” Nerys replied, just hoping to hear something new.

“I know quite a bit about one specific Trill.” Jadzia said, smiling around the rip of her cup.

Nerys held up a hand. “Nothing about Curzon’s sexual exploits, please.”

“How about mine?” Jadzia teased.

“How about just the planet.” Nerys shot back, she might have wanted something new but hearing about all the people that Jadzia had flirted with wasn’t one of them. It left an uncomfortable jealousy that settled in her bones and simmered.

Jadzia settled back in her chair, still trying to hide that smile. “Well we don’t have as many animals as earth does but…”

Nerys took a sip of her own raktajino, letting Jadzia’s words roll over her in a comfort.

* * *

“I have to admit I didn’t expect to see you here.”

Nerys shut her eyes.

* * *

Once the shift was over Nerys made her way over to Jadzia.

“I’m thinking about trying out the holodeck again.”

“You are?” Jadzia’s eyes widened in surprise before she caught herself. “Feeling like trying out King Arthur’s court again?”

“No.” Nerys said bluntly. “Let’s try something new.”

“Something new…” Jadzia repeated, her gaze caught on Nerys and she leaned in. “You sure?”

“Yes.” Nerys breathed out, wavering on leaning in as well.

This close she could count each spot on Jadzia’s face, take in the blue of her eyes that didn’t move away.

“Let’s see what you’ve got.” Nerys challenged, swallowing hard and stepping back.

At least she could enjoy the company.

* * *

“You look tired.” Benjamin said, looking Nerys over with a frown.

“You’re the Emissary.” Nerys deflected. “What do you think about the prophets and their message?”

“You’d know it better than I would.” Benjamin sighed and laced his fingers together as he leaned forward, elbows on his desk.

“What if…what if the person they’re trying isn’t enough.” Her voice shook along with her hand. She curled it into a fist and took a deep breath. “What if the trial is too much.”

“Major.” Benjamin said, his eyes full of concern. “I am always here if you need me. As is anyone on that promenade. If you feel that your faith can’t pull you through perhaps it’s time share the burden with someone else.”

Nerys barked out a short laugh. “The only person I’d wish this burden on is Dukat. He’d never make it through.”

“We could always call him up.” Benjamin had the hint of a smile just ghosting on his lips, ready to break into a full grin at any second.

“Don’t you dare.” Nerys warned. There were a lot of things she’d put up with in during this and the one thing she could say was that she’d had so many days free of Dukat and in that it was bliss.

Benjamin gave up and laughed before settling back down. “I know that Dax would be ready to help you in a heartbeat.”

“How often has she talked to you about me?” Nerys eyed him, trying to suss out what he’d heard.

“Major I’ve heard too much.” He smiled at her again and then hummed pensively. “You could also try a new angle. Mix things up a little.”

Her mouth opened to refute that but then shut. The thought stuck with her; mixing would require two components. Two completely different and similar components.

“Major?”

“Captain, I need a shuttle.”

* * *

The orb of wisdom and the orb of time glowed next to each other in a brilliant light.

“I’m ready.” Nerys told them as the glow settled over her. “I know what I need to do.”

Live to see the next day, take the chances as they came.

* * *

“I have to admit I didn’t expect to see you here.”

Nerys looked up from where she sat at Jadzia’s bed, having marched first thing there when she returned from Bajor in the early hours of the morning.

The next morning.

Jadzia hadn’t been there when she arrived but the computer let her in regardless.

“I was looking for you, Benjamin said you’d gone to Bajor. Is everything all right?”

Rather than answer her Nerys stood up and strode across the room, once she was close enough to Jadzia she reached up and cupped Jadzia’s face in her hand.

“Kira?” Jadzia startled a little, blinking in surprise.

“Jadzia.” She said, just to watch how Jadzia’s smile slowly grew.

“Nerys.” Jadzia returned. “I thought you’d never get around to this.”

“Believe me.” Nerys sighed as she leaned in. “I was thinking the same thing.”

Jadzia, she thought, tasted like the promise of tomorrow; and all the days after.


End file.
